PLANK HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED!!!
It all started in 2015...
I was invited to an "Early 2000's Party."
Not a 90's party, an Early 2000's party.
After much deliberation, I was inspired by one of my favorite shows; Cartoon Network's Ed, Edd, n Eddy.
I dressed up as Jonny, and if you know anything about Ed, Edd, n Eddy, you know that Jonny has a very special friend.
Enter, Plank.
From day one, Plank was ADORED.
And therein lies the problem...
Fast forward to 2016, I'm having a birthday party.
I invite all my friends, including Plank!
Yet when I woke up the next day...
PLANK WAS GONE!!!
I asked if people knew where he went. No answer.
Until...
I RECEIVED A RANSOM NOTE!!!
(Not pictured, sorry dear reader)
It was written in cutout letters from a magazine.
It instructed me to find Plank's abductor.
I questioned EVERYONE I thought would have a motive - Friends, neighbors, coworkers...
Weeks went by and unfortunately, 2016 Graham was not smart enough to find him.
Until the culprit came forward...
It was PAUL!
Paul, my coworker at the time, had attended the party. (Look at that conniving grin)
But when questioning suspects, I specifically remember saying, "Paul wouldn't do it." Thus I didn't even QUESTION him. What a fool, he was right under my nose!
However Paul DID have an accomplice; My friend and coworker Darryl (on the right.)
This was revealed to me after Plank was returned, along with this photo of Plank held hostage in Darryl's trunk.
All in all, Plank was returned safely.
He's been enjoying a life of leisure, and the classic "Is that Plank?!" when people visit.
Atleast he was.
Until 2022 when–
To be continued...
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